The Secret Tournament VIII

[From4corners]

Very cool!

[Pirlo's Beard]

A 4-point gap heading into the final day. This could barely be closer.

[Pirlo's Beard]

[Pirlo's Beard]

Dino claims his third Secret Tournament crown in four years after coming out on top in the closest title race we've ever had. Trailing Tall Paul by four points going into the final day, he was indebted to the continuing good form of Bruno Fernandes, who hauled once again, and to the hitherto hopeless Spurs defence, who managed to keep only their second clean sheet in 19 games, bringing dino clean sheets for Danso and Van de Ven in the process. Marcus Tavernier's first double-digit return since GW16 also proved most useful to dino in the final calculations.

His stated intention at the start of the season was to "bore [his] way to the top of the league," and a squad full of solid picks helped him do just that. He managed to nab 22-goal Igor Thiago in the fourth round of picks, and his squad was augmented by a solid defensive base of William Saliba and DefCon monster Joachim Andersen. His midfield was strengthened by the presence of the aforementioned Fernandes, who had a stellar season and finished as the second top-scoring player in the game, and by another Fernández: Enzo, who ended the season as Chelsea's second top-scoring player. Igor Thiago carried much of the load up front as dino's other two forward picks failed to impress. Thierno Barry was removed in GW5 (and didn't score a goal until GW15), while dino's patience with Evanilson was rarely rewarded. The Bournemouth striker scored just 6 goals this season despite playing the vast majority of minutes in a season where he was outshone by his young teammate Eli Junior Kroupi. Gameweek highlights included picking up Nordi Mukiele for his 17-pointer in GW8, and picking up Nathan Collins in GW19 for a run of 32 points in three weeks.

With three titles and one 2nd-placed finish in the last four years, dino has well and truly established himself as the man to beat.





He was so close to victory. He led by 15 points with just two weeks to go, and by 4 points going into the final day, but he just couldn't hold on, as dino edged him out in a titanic tussle. But 2nd place still represents his best-ever Secret Tournament finish, and the continuation of an upward trend after a couple of 4th-placed finishes. And who knows, perhaps it will have whetted his appetite for further title challenges to come? This season was certainly evidence of what Tall Paul can achieve when he puts in even a modicum of effort.

Picking Semenyo turned out to be a masterstroke. His multiple early-season hauls kept TP's team competitive even while some of his other initial picks floundered (does anyone remember Jhon Arias?), and he finished the season as the fourth-highest scoring player in the game. Not bad for a third round pick from the guy who was only drafting sixth this time around (a notoriously shit position in the draft, but one which TP somehow managed to turn to his advantage). TP's first pick, Ollie Watkins, didn't have his best season, but TP was patient with him and his patience was rewarded with multiple hauls in the home stretch that kept TP's title hopes alive. But even a final-day brace at the Etihad wasn't enough to bring TP his first-ever title. There were plenty of canny transactions along the way, like picking up Rice in GW4, who turned out to be an outstanding season-long pick, and picking up Antonee Robinson for a 12-point haul in GW37 courtesy of his first-ever Premier League goal.





A best-ever Secret Tournament finish for Mo, who claims a podium spot for the first time. Drafting second this time around proved handy, as he managed to nab Haaland, who ended the season as the highest-scoring player in the game. And very much like dino, it was a case of one forward doing the heavy lifting, with the other two (Beto and Niclas Füllkrug) contributing very little. Beto did hit form later in the season, long after Mo had removed him though, while Füllkrug b*ggered off to Milan on loan in January after zero goals in eight appearances. Taty Castellanos and Will Osula belatedly added some goals to his attack, but not enough of them to fire Mo into a title race unfortunately.

Gibbs-White was a smart pick in midfield, but Cunha's debut season at Man Utd was a bit underwhelming, and Mo was unlucky to lose Bruno Guimarães to injury in GW27 after he'd been on a fantastic run of form. Dias and Gvardiol were both solid picks in defence, although Mo lost them both to injury in the latter part of the season. But Pedro Porro was never likely to be one of the top-scoring defenders as it gradually became clear he was trapped in an awful Spurs team, and Mo lost patience with Patrick Dorgu in GW16 after a string of 1-pointers, just before he went on a run of three goals and two assists in the next seven games. He did manage to pick the best keeper though: David Raya was an ever-present for Mo as he secured his third Golden Glove in a row.





A season defined by a disaster of a first pick actually ended pretty well for me, as I somehow managed to claw my way up to 4th despite spending much of the second half of the season languishing in the lower reaches of the table. The aforementioned disastrous first pick was Cole Palmer, who was part of a midfield that had me pretty excited before the season began, but turned out to be full of turds when the actual footy started. I was happy to nab Martin Ødegaard in the fifth round, thinking he'd be back to his best this season as Arsenal challenged for the title, while Marmoush seemed like a clever use of my second pick after ending last season in such good form and seemingly cementing himself in Pep's plans. In reality, Ødegaard spent much of the season injured, while Marmoush spent most of the season benched. Cody Gakpo wasn't much use either... it only took defenders a few weeks to figure out that the only trick he had in his locker was 'cut inside and shoot.' And Palmer stunk up my squad for a full 33 weeks before I finally lost patience with him and his troublesome groin.

My late-season charge up the table was aided by the blistering form of Jérémy Doku, whose run of goals in the CIty team coincided with his arrival in mine. DGW33 was particularly profitable for me, as I also managed to draft multiple high-scoring Leeds players into my team (James Justin's 19-pointer being the pick of the bunch). When I removed Palmer in GW34, the player I replaced him with (Souček) immediately scored 10 points. And the following week, the player I replaced Souček with (Stach) immediately scored 10 points too. It was a good end to a largely frustrating season. But next season I must remember to be more boring like dino.





Last year's champ slips down to 5th. A strong initial squad featuring Arsenal midfielders current (Rice, Saka) and future (Eze) meant Ruud looked well-set for another title tilt, but a couple of things let him down: the underperformance of his first pick Saka, who only scored 7 goals and missed chunks of the season through injury; and the removal of Rice in GW3, when a bit more patience would have meant Ruud holding onto a player who ended up becoming the joint sixth-highest scoring player in the game. Meanwhile, early-season flash-in-the-pan Tijjani Reijnders proved to be a waste of a spot. He lost his place in the City team in GW10, but didn't lose his place in Ruud's squad until GW21.

As Ruud himself admitted, his strikeforce of Delap, Igor Jesus, and Šeško was thin on xMins. We saw flashes of Šeško's quality throughout the season, and 11 goals was admittedly a fairly decent return from a man who only played about half a season's worth of football. But Igor Jesus began the season on Forest's bench and was removed by Ruud in GW9, and Delap was removed in GW16, presumably after Ruud realised what an absolute donkey he is. Delap's replacement, Dominic Calvert-Lewin, fared rather better. Ruud picked him up just in time to see him score five goals in six games, and ultimately ended up owning him for 10 of his 14 goals. A smart pick, but not smart enough to fire Ruud into contention for the top spots this time around.





After cracking the top three last time around, it's back to the familiar surrounds of mid-table for AR. His team was hampered by a midfield that was short on star names and over-reliant on DefCon monster Elliot Anderson, while his first pick Viktor Gyökeres didn't deliver the goals many were expecting, and wasn't much use at all until he hit a run of form late in the season. Meanwhile, going heavy on Liverpool's defence brought mixed results. Virgil van Dijk ended the season as the joint third top-scoring defender (thanks in large part to his attacking output), but Alisson and Jeremie Frimpong turned out to be poor picks as they both missed significant chunks of the season through injury.

AR drafted a couple of Palace players in his initial squad and had mixed fortunes on that front too. Jean-Philippe Mateta faded after a bright start and got injured around the midway point, but Maxence Lacroix turned out to be a dependable pick who provided a steady stream of DefCon points all season. Rayan was a smart pick-up in GW25 just before he scored in successive games, and bringing in Riccardo Calafiori for his 13-pointer in GW2 was a masterstroke. Or at least it would have been, if he hadn't removed Jurriën Timber's 24-pointer in the process.. AR's stated aim at the beginning of the season was to "out-bore dino." In the end, perhaps his team could have used a bit more excitement.





'First picks matter' is what From4corners named his team. F4c's first pick was Alexander Isak, who scored three goals and missed 24 games through injury. Last season his first pick was Darwin Núñez, who played 30 games in the league and finished the season with a grand total of five goals. Perhaps the lesson for F4c is "stay away from Liverpool strikers because they'll only bring you misery and pain?" In any case, he needs to find a way to start making his first picks count. The two-time former champ hasn't been able to escape the bottom four for the past four seasons now, a run of form which is making his two titles look increasingly like a pair of anomalies.

Some good picks in midfield (Rogers, Wilson) were offset by some bad ones (Gittens, Savinho), and one who only became a good pick after half a season of benchings and sporadic returns (Cherki). Rogers had a pretty good season, finishing top seven among midfielders for points scored, as did Harry Wilson. Unfortunately for F4c, he removed Wilson after a benching in GW2 and didn't get to enjoy any of his hauls. He did get to enjoy one or two hauls from Gabriel after SirMatt discarded him in GW12, and picking up Timber in GW3 meant he got to enjoy double Arsenal defence for a while. But his team was severely hampered by a lack of firepower, as F4c was forced to place his faith in various non-performing forwards from the likes of Burnley, Fulham, and Wolves. Picking up Nico O'Reilly in GW26 for a 13-point haul that week and a 17-point haul the following week was a masterstroke. Unfortunately for F4c, these masterstrokes were few and far between.





8th place continues a downward trend for SirMatt, whose season was defined by one clunker of a decision: the removal of Gabriel in GW12 after an injury which ruled him out for several weeks. Discarding a man who would go on to score 209 points was akin to throwing a piece of meat into a pool filled with hungry piranhas, and on this occasion the hungriest piranha was From4corners, who snapped up the Arsenal defender before others got a chance. SirMatt did at least pick up Malick Thiaw in GW10 and got to enjoy a few hauls from him in the middle part of the season, and his Gabriel replacement - Jan Paul van Hecke - scored a brace in GW14. Unfortunately, SirMatt benched him that week.

Drafting last this time around, SirMatt used his first pick on the exciting Florian Wirtz, who struggled to make the kind of impact everyone expected. His second pick fared rather better: the streaky João Pedro, who ended the season as the fourth top-scoring forward in the game. Iliman Ndiaye was a steady source of points until his departure for AFCON, and so too was Richarlison, who chipped in with seven goals and three assists before a mid-season injury ended his stay in SirMatt's squad. Picking up Pascal Groß ahead of DGW33 was a smart move, but removing Gabriel will surely make him wonder what might have been.





Baganboy described himself as a "happily mid-table" manager last season and compared himself to Crystal Palace. Unfortunately for baganboy, the familiar Palace-esque comforts of mid-table proved beyond him this time around, as he drops to 9th and records his lowest finish since The Secret Tournament III. Baganboy had first pick in the draft, but it became another unfortunate tale of a high-profile first pick floundering, as Mo Salah followed up his best-ever season in FPL with one of his worst. 123 points marks by far his worst return since joining Liverpool, and puts him below the likes of Brenden Aaronson, Ethan Ampadu, James Garner, Enzo Le Fée, and Granit Xhaka in the final standings among midfielders. He was only Liverpool's fifth-highest scoring midfielder, and scored fewer goals this season than the likes of Jaidon Anthony, Thierno Barry, Beto, Casemiro, and Zian Flemming. A bad season then to back the Egyptian king.

Among baganboy's other initial picks, Bryan Mbeumo was probably the standout, while the likes of Anthony Gordon and Mohammed Kudus failed to live up to expectation. His team struggled for firepower all season and was heavily reliant on the ageing limbs of Danny Welbeck, as baganboy cycled through a succession of non-performing strikers (your Fosters, your Strand Larsens, your Kolo Muanis), while his pre-season gamble on Nicolas Jackson getting a move to Newcastle didn't pay off. Baganboy was active throughout the season (at least up until GW29), which surely makes his low finish all the more frustrating.

Still, Arsenal finally won the league, so I think he has enough to be happy about in real life.





Mr. Consistency. 10th for the fourth year in a row.

TT appeared to lose interest after GW4, which is a shame really, because a squad with Dominik Szoboszlai, Hugo Ekitike, and Jarrod Bowen had a lot of potential and could have done well had its manager been bothered to actually, you know, manage it.

[Pirlo's Beard]

The Secret Tournament league table, based on the total number of points accumulated across all eight seasons. Dino strengthens his grip on top spot with his latest victory, while Zimmerman has a lot of ground to make up if he wants to catch him.

Rank	Manager	I	II	III	IV	V	VI	VII	VIII	Total points
1.	dino1980	6th	3rd	4th	5th	1st	1st	2nd	1st	13,783
2.	Pirlo's Beard	2nd	2nd	=2nd	1st	2nd	3rd	6th	4th	13,476
3.	From4corners	9th	1st	1st	2nd	8th	7th	9th	7th	12,605
4.	Tall Paul	3rd	9th	10th	10th	7th	4th	4th	2nd	12,124
5.	Mo Bot	10th	5th	8th	6th	9th	9th	8th	3rd	12,047
6.	baganboy	8th	4th	9th		5th	8th	5th	9th	10,642
7.	RuudTheDudeVanTheMan			5th	3rd	6th	2nd	1st	5th	9,933
8.	Aldershot Rejects			6th	4th		5th	3rd	6th	8,204
9.	SirMattBugsby				8th	4th	6th	7th	8th	7,742
10.	Talkie Toaster				9th	10th	10th	10th	10th	6,674
11.	Stemania	5th	8th	=2nd	7th					6,303
12.	Archy	4th	6th	7th						4,751
13.	Mav3rick	1st	10th			3rd				4,128
14.	No Way Jose	7th								1,537
15.	Zimmerman		7th							1,453

[Pirlo's Beard]

[Pirlo's Beard]

[Tall Paul]

So close. GG Dino.

Great writeups PB, looking forward to next season already.

[Aldershot Rejects]

Great write-up. You forget to mention that despite owning all 3 Liverpool goalkeepers during the season, I still managed one week without a playing keeper. It's a killer when you get your first couple of picks wrong.

Congrats Dino, you managed to out-bore all of us.

[Mo Bot]

Fantastic write up and congrats to Dino again.

Unfortunately Haaland couldn’t keep up his early season scoring run, my Gvardiol/Dias fell off a cliff and it took too long to find some decent super up front but at least I avoided the drop zone this year.

[dino1980]

Thanks for the write-up PB, entertaining as always. In the end it was Bruno’s phantom assist that made the difference. Congratudolences TP, that was one hell of a battle.

Hopefully I can be just as boring next season.

[Pirlo's Beard]

In the end it was Bruno’s phantom assist that made the difference.

Yeah it's mad to think how small the gap was, just three points in the end. If Kinský hadn't made that brilliant save from Tyrique George in the 99th minute, you would have lost two clean sheets and the title.

If you ever bump into Antonín Kinský, you owe him a beer!

[From4corners]

Ha wow, what an exciting finish !! Congratulations, dino! Well done to you and Tall Paul, great stuff.

Another season to forget.. and already looking forward to my first pick for this season..

Many thanks for the wonderful organisation, PB, and the entertaining write-ups. Great fun!

[From4corners]

Another season to forget.. and already looking forward to my first pick for this season..

Darwin Nunez lined up for transfer as former Liverpool star 'wants Anfield return'

[Pirlo's Beard]

Another season to forget.. and already looking forward to my first pick for this season..

Darwin Nunez lined up for transfer as former Liverpool star 'wants Anfield return'