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Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by murf »

"When I was a young sheep I was heavily criticised for being born out of wedlock"

"Lambasted?"

"Not you too!"

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Post by Spinynorman »

Mormon cats have 9 wives.

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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by murf »

Mormon bees have 9 hives

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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by murf »

Mormon 45s have 9 fives.

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Post by Spinynorman »

A dog has accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles...
Her next poo could spell disaster!

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Post by Spinynorman »

Having no clue about physiology is my Achilles Elbow.

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Post by unc.si. »

Theresa May

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Post by Spinynorman »

A kleptomaniac in a bakery really takes the biscuit.

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Post by forestfan »

unc.si. wrote:Theresa May
UK politics as a whole...

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Post by unc.si. »

forestfan wrote:
unc.si. wrote:Theresa May
UK politics as a whole...
And US politics

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Post by murf »

Joke is surely on us. The voters who elect these jokes.

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Post by forestfan »

murf wrote:Joke is surely on us. The voters who elect these jokes.
Well, we can only vote for what's in front of us on that ballot paper... some are lucky enough to be in a constituency with sensible candidates like Elmo, Lord Buckethead or Mr Fishfinger, the rest of us have to make do with the jokers :wink:

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Post by forestfan »

unc.si. wrote:
forestfan wrote:
unc.si. wrote:Theresa May
UK politics as a whole...
And US politics
Yeah, that definitely Trumps ours...

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Post by Spinynorman »

The Thesaurus had the best vocabulary of all the dinosaurs.

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Post by Spinynorman »

Mispronouncing words is definitely my forty.

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Post by murf »

(It does worry me how bad wednesday and thursday's "jokes of the day" were for you not to include them when you include the above examples of tuesday's and friday's)

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Post by Spinynorman »

I think it's wrong that priests have to live a life of forced celibacy .
They should get married and let celibacy happen to them the usual way.

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Post by Spinynorman »

I became obsessed with auctions after only going once ...going twice... going...

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Post by Spinynorman »

Why did the man with no hands go to the doctor?

Because he didn't feel well.

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Post by murf »

Spinynorman wrote:Why did the man with no hands go to the doctor?

Because he didn't feel well.
Why did the man with no nose go to the parfumerie?

Because he didn't smell good

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Post by Spinynorman »

Who decided to call it a proctologist and not an analyst?

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Post by Spinynorman »

The new jumper I got the other day kept picking up static electricity, so I took it back and they exchanged it for another one free of charge.

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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by Reddog1 »

Spinynorman wrote:The new jumper I got the other day kept picking up static electricity, so I took it back and they exchanged it for another one free of charge.


:lol:

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Post by Spinynorman »

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by forestfan »

What's the difference between Twitter and Game of Thrones?
On Twitter you only get 140 characters.

Why did Jon Snow go to the Apple Store?
For the Watch.

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Post by Spinynorman »

If you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

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Post by Spinynorman »

When my sister said she was leaving because of my fixation with The Monkees, I thought she was having a joke. And then I saw her face.

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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by jimwinn »

I wanted to get my snail in the gastrapod Olympics so I took his shell off to help reduce wind resistance

Now he's quite sluggish


(Heard on Talksport)

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Post by Spinynorman »

My Mother was so overprotective that we were only allowed to play rock, paper, bubble wrap.

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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by Spinynorman »

Some people say I'm addicted to generalisations but isn't everyone some kind of addict?

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