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Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

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murf
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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by murf »

The World Health Organisation has declared that dogs cannot transmit Coronavirus and there is no reason to quarantine dogs any more.

W.H.O. let the dogs out.



(Sorry no FPL reference)

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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by murf »

,

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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by eastcentral1 »

raoul wrote:The difficulty is that Wolves and Liverpool (plus Pope and Taylor) are very good picks now whichever route is taken and the fact plenty are considering ignoring the MC and Arsenal DGW evidences that doublers do not always trump a good singler.

I am still undecided which route to take but I had better decide soon!
I've heard better jokes

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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by eagle224 »

I sneezed in front of my laptop and my anti-virus put it into lockdown

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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by unc.si. »

I spotted an albino Dalmatian today

Well, it was the least I could do

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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by Malrom »

Not sure I will succeed in the translation of this ....

I had a nigthmare last night, I dreamt that all the pubs were open again and people were allowed to visit the pub in alphabetical order......
and I was Zinedine Zidane

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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by murf »

Malrom wrote: 23 Apr 2020, 20:30 Not sure I will succeed in the translation of this ....

I had a nigthmare last night, I dreamt that all the pubs were open again and people were allowed to visit the pub in alphabetical order......
and I was Zinedine Zidane
:lol:

They start with the AA! :shock:



(in case that doesn't work for the Swiss, the AA is Alcoholics Anonymous!)

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Post by Malrom »

murf wrote: 23 Apr 2020, 20:39
Malrom wrote: 23 Apr 2020, 20:30 Not sure I will succeed in the translation of this ....

I had a nigthmare last night, I dreamt that all the pubs were open again and people were allowed to visit the pub in alphabetical order......
and I was Zinedine Zidane
:lol:

They start with the AA! :shock:



(in case that doesn't work for the Swiss, the AA is Alcoholics Anonymous!)
Thank you, murf!

It's the same here: Anonyme Alkoholiker

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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by morganb »

So, what's the best thing about Switzerland?

Well, their flag's a big plus...

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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by unc.si. »

Just rang B&Q to ask how big the queue is

'same size as the B mate'

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Post by Malrom »

morganb wrote: 30 Apr 2020, 19:38 So, what's the best thing about Switzerland?

Well, their flag's a big plus...
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Just saw that today!

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Post by Darbyand »

Ha
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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by morganb »

I was walking down the street the other day and passed a bloke who was shouting 'Tower! Steeple! Battlements!"

Apparently he had turrets

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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by unc.si. »

Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.

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Post by wahine »

You guitar wonder though, with pipa harping on about it :) .

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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by unc.si. »

Did you know that 50% of Canada is a

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Post by murf »

Can?

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Post by jacksosi »

unc.si. wrote:Did you know that 50% of Canada is a
Took me a few seconds Image

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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by Richt »

I wonder how Bill Gates is going to spend his first day in control of Margaret Keenan (90) from Coventry?

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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by murf »

Richt wrote:I wonder how Bill Gates is going to spend his first day in control of Margaret Keenan (90) from Coventry?
I've started following her on twitter. - she has already sent a few derogatory tweets about Apple.

I've no idea how she knew that about Melania though.....

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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by unc.si. »

You know there are only 10 types of people in the world.
Those that understand binary and those that don't

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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by Richt »

Jernaine Defoe walks into a bar, goes up to the first woman he sees and says

"Get yer coat you've pulled"

She says

"Ooh you're a little forward aren't you?"

Sent from my SM-G973F using Tapatalk


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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by murf »

unc.si. wrote:You know there are only 10 types of people in the world.
Those that understand binary and those that don't
You know there are only 2 types of people in the world:
1. Those that can extrapolate from incomplete sets of data

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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by plasticninja »

There is a sadist and a masochist, the masochist says 'hurt me', the sadist says 'no'.

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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by raoul »

possibly posted before, but maybe not so...

2 lions are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "does this taste funny to you?"

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Post by plasticninja »

raoul wrote: 28 Sep 2021, 13:56 possibly posted before, but maybe not so...

2 lions are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "does this taste funny to you?"
Made me laugh. :lol:

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Post by murf »

2 parrots are on a perch. One turns to the other and says "Does this smell fishy to you?"

2 fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says "Can you drive this thing?"

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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by plasticninja »

murf wrote: 28 Sep 2021, 14:42 2 parrots are on a perch. One turns to the other and says "Does this smell fishy to you?"

2 fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says "Can you drive this thing?"
Not as funny, but still good. :wink:

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Re: Jokes (Please ensure adherence to the FISO T&C's)

Post by plasticninja »

A Jewish guy come's comes out of the sea with his dog. A man says to him, "Are you a vet?"
"Am I a vet?" he replies "I am bloody soaking"

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