Would you purchase a car from someone with a write-up like this?
So here it is sports fans, grab a glass of something strong, take a seat and listen hard.
Here we have it, a sensational specimen of the iconic Landrover discovery II.
She is a pure beauty inside and out. On the ticket she says burgundy, but i assure you it is most certainly lava red. As you can see she pops in the sunlight, very similar to her completely standard straight through exhaust. She would most certainly be euro 6 compliant, as she has always been ran on the finest diesel. Which can be obtained from most good fuel stations. If you are unfamiliar with this, just go to the same place you get the cheap, shitty flowers to apologise to your wife after shagging linda at the christmas party, after it got a bit loose on the cheeky becks blue. #dontwannatalkaboutit #discoownerproblems
As you can see she has aged as well as Jennifer Aniston playing the dirty dentist in the film horrible bosses..... wowzerrr!!! Much like Jennifer she has also had a cosmetic suspension lift. (if you know what i mean) she still runs her standard bikini side steps which i can guarantee are still as straight as Louis Spence Although their similarities end there. she doesn't dance around on the road, in fact she might as well be a freight liner because she holds the corners like she is running on rails. This has nothing to with the current black smoke which can be seen on very rare occasions….
#rollincoal
She may be ageing but her waterworks are still running sweet and she keeps herself well lubricated, which saves me a job, Unlike her in doors
. Ive not needed to go down on her much….the land rover of course… but when i have i can assure I have greased every nipple, twice. She has had a diff replacement, but it was done by a Landrover expert in a top class workshop. (see images above) #igot99problemsbutmydiffaintone
Of course as you can see the bumper isn't standard, but I've done my research and it is an optional extra. This doesn’t really bother me, as it worked a treat against the mother in law – optimum approach angle. However I do fear for the washer bottle as she lays there un armoured.
The previous one lady owner assured me she had never been raced or rallied, despite the racing pedigree that runs in her vains (i think she was built in the same year that Landrover won the WRC championships. i think Austria? but correct me if im wrong)
In her life time, she has covered only a small fraction of miles, a total sum of 144,000miles. And I still don’t feel as though I have bedded her in fully. The turbo pulls likes a trains, and wines more than my girlfriend (That’s seriously is saying something). The beating heart of this mistress has been refined, and rained into a mere 175BHP, Dynoprint provided on request. She goes like one of the Japanese jobbies. The only thing with more horse present is the Tesco meat counter I used to work at.
She has one most powerful CM units I have come across on a vehicle, if you are not aware of the acronym CM start with clunge and end it with magnet.
She’s got s snorkel but has never been to the Bahamas
Pick up the phone and indulge yourself, I wont be very contactable via email so please call me for any questions, genuine reason for sale, no silly offers. I will let the bidding run for the old girl to the dire end. May the best man win.
http://r.ebay.com/VolgFG
