Anorexia
- unc.si.
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Anorexia
One of my (13yo) daughter's friends has just been admitted into hospital with anorexia. More to give her a shock than because she's critical, but hospital have said that it's likely they'll keep her in for a while (ie several weeks rather than just a few days).
Reasonably normal kid (bit sullen, but then she's 13). Plays netball and dances with my daughter. Bit of a shock really (although she did look skinny as bigger at Netball at the weekend).
In a way, may be a good thing for my daughter to see what can happen. She's also skinny, but in an athletic way. She did have a phase of stressing a bit about having visible shoulder and arm muscles (from swimming and kickboxing) but now seems to be proud of it, with a bit of help from Jess Ennis Lot of pressure on young girls, from magazines, tv and school.
Oh the joy of teenage girls...
Reasonably normal kid (bit sullen, but then she's 13). Plays netball and dances with my daughter. Bit of a shock really (although she did look skinny as bigger at Netball at the weekend).
In a way, may be a good thing for my daughter to see what can happen. She's also skinny, but in an athletic way. She did have a phase of stressing a bit about having visible shoulder and arm muscles (from swimming and kickboxing) but now seems to be proud of it, with a bit of help from Jess Ennis Lot of pressure on young girls, from magazines, tv and school.
Oh the joy of teenage girls...
- unc.si.
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Re: Anorexia
please don't quote that last sentence out of context
- Tricky Tree
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Re: Anorexia
(regarding post 2 not one)
yes, such a difficult one. So pleased I have a lad, they are so much less body consious and way less bitchy. I find the lads (aroud the 13 mark) so much more considerate in general than when I was a lad. They seem capable of empathy where as the girls are still very bitchy and have a new best mate every other day. The lads don't have best mates generally, just mates and of all shapes and sizes wuith only the gingers getting the stick
yes, such a difficult one. So pleased I have a lad, they are so much less body consious and way less bitchy. I find the lads (aroud the 13 mark) so much more considerate in general than when I was a lad. They seem capable of empathy where as the girls are still very bitchy and have a new best mate every other day. The lads don't have best mates generally, just mates and of all shapes and sizes wuith only the gingers getting the stick
- Spinynorman
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Re: Anorexia
It's a complex condition that can affect almost anyone sometimes with tragic results. I've looked after a fair few folks with it where it has become serious enough for sections of the mental health act to be applied and in-patient psychiatric care needed. These days it doesn't often take that route but can still be devastating and deadly.
Food and weight are often the symptoms rather than the cause.
Food and weight are often the symptoms rather than the cause.
- fancy dan
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Re: Anorexia
I have a 13-year-old girl and live in fear of her developing an eating disorder, it seems so common these days. Fortunately, if anything, she seems to be going the other way at the moment, slightly on the plump side. I think the only thing you can do is make them as confident as possible about their bodies when they're growing up and never mention weight.
- Moist von Lipwig
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Re: Anorexia
I've got a three year old girl. I can now add this to the list of things to start worrying about now for the next 10 years.....
- murf
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Re: Anorexia
Keep these threads coming guys.
All make me happier about my 'lifestyle decision' not to have children
My recommendation is to get a dog instead
All make me happier about my 'lifestyle decision' not to have children
My recommendation is to get a dog instead
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Re: Anorexia
Fixed!murf wrote:
My recommendation is to get a cat instead
- Groomyd
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Re: Anorexia
My girl is 10 and already body conscious - never let anyone tell you the exposure to images from pop and acting don't impact on kids - it's remarkable how much influence it has
She is a healthy weight and grazes on fruit (we've always let them eat as much fruit as they want and keep plenty in the fruit bowl) but occasionally mentions her weight and compares herself to, for example, Taylor swift on X-factor .............
Watchful waiting - always the parents charter but bloody hard to do
She is a healthy weight and grazes on fruit (we've always let them eat as much fruit as they want and keep plenty in the fruit bowl) but occasionally mentions her weight and compares herself to, for example, Taylor swift on X-factor .............
Watchful waiting - always the parents charter but bloody hard to do
- unc.si.
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Re: Anorexia
One thing that has always stuck in my mind was something that a speaker said once (at an international consulting conference of all places - no idea of the context now tbh), which was that you have to give your kids the roots to grow and the wings to fly.
Such a hard balance. Watchful waiting. Sounds about right.
My job now has changed. Boundaries are still there, but they've got to be wider, and the main job is really to guide them through the maze with little nudges in the right direction. The big stick has to come out sometimes (not literally) but its a blunt instrument really. Always think I've failed a little bit when I have to resort to a punishment or an absolute non negotiable decision, but of course it does happen. Not sure if its the same with boys, but there comes a point with teenage girls (mine anyway) where there is no way in heaven or earth that they will listen to any amount of reason and you just have to say No. They're strong minded and independent. Which is great. And a bloody nightmare. They're still vulnerable to a lot of things though, eating disorders being one. As Groomy says, there's a huge influence from pop stars, tv, magazines etc to conform to a certain body image.
anyway...
I'm sure my daughters friend will be OK. It's not been going on for too long (since about July). She actually knows there's something wrong now and seems to want to sort it out, although can't shake off the image of herself as fat yet. It's almost like she sort of knows that she's not fat, but still thinks she is. I know the family well, and she's got a lot of support. We've got a very good hospital here as well, so she's in the right place to get it sorted.
Spiney, maybe you're right and there is some deeper issue. A couple of recent family bereavements probably haven't helped either. You're definitely right that its complex. Really odd that she seems to know that the way she's feeling isn't right, but still feels that way anyway. Suspect though that the recognition that there is something wrong is a big step on the road to recovery. She's out of the denial phase anyway.
[sorry for the rambling post. Had a cracking nighttime MTB ride, but the bikes got all muddy so we had to go to the local pub (who've put a hosepipe in so we can wash our bikes) and it would be a bit rude to use their water and then not buy a couple of beers ]
Such a hard balance. Watchful waiting. Sounds about right.
My job now has changed. Boundaries are still there, but they've got to be wider, and the main job is really to guide them through the maze with little nudges in the right direction. The big stick has to come out sometimes (not literally) but its a blunt instrument really. Always think I've failed a little bit when I have to resort to a punishment or an absolute non negotiable decision, but of course it does happen. Not sure if its the same with boys, but there comes a point with teenage girls (mine anyway) where there is no way in heaven or earth that they will listen to any amount of reason and you just have to say No. They're strong minded and independent. Which is great. And a bloody nightmare. They're still vulnerable to a lot of things though, eating disorders being one. As Groomy says, there's a huge influence from pop stars, tv, magazines etc to conform to a certain body image.
anyway...
I'm sure my daughters friend will be OK. It's not been going on for too long (since about July). She actually knows there's something wrong now and seems to want to sort it out, although can't shake off the image of herself as fat yet. It's almost like she sort of knows that she's not fat, but still thinks she is. I know the family well, and she's got a lot of support. We've got a very good hospital here as well, so she's in the right place to get it sorted.
Spiney, maybe you're right and there is some deeper issue. A couple of recent family bereavements probably haven't helped either. You're definitely right that its complex. Really odd that she seems to know that the way she's feeling isn't right, but still feels that way anyway. Suspect though that the recognition that there is something wrong is a big step on the road to recovery. She's out of the denial phase anyway.
[sorry for the rambling post. Had a cracking nighttime MTB ride, but the bikes got all muddy so we had to go to the local pub (who've put a hosepipe in so we can wash our bikes) and it would be a bit rude to use their water and then not buy a couple of beers ]
- blahblah
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Re: Anorexia
Yep, without a doubt.Spinynorman wrote:It's a complex condition that can affect almost anyone sometimes with tragic results. I've looked after a fair few folks with it where it has become serious enough for sections of the mental health act to be applied and in-patient psychiatric care needed. These days it doesn't often take that route but can still be devastating and deadly.
Food and weight are often the symptoms rather than the cause.
She needs someone to talk to about why, and not all "experts" are the same as many bring in their own subjectivity, and many are just thick\useless.
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