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La Republica del FISO Press Office

A forum for historic posts on the Poll Team (La Republica del FISO) created by some of the users of the PremierLeague.com Forum.
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tom4nash
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La Republica del FISO Press Office

Post by tom4nash » 29 Aug 2006, 02:46

By the power invested in me by the management of La Republica del FISO and our fearless leader, Senor Flyman, I hearby open the press office for business.

The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth... So Help Me God.

"Many will call me an adventurer - and that I am, only one of a different sort: one of those who risks his skin to prove his platitudes."

Desea vivo La República

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Post by tom4nash » 29 Aug 2006, 05:00

The International break is up for the La Republica squad and we have a number of players off to play for God and country:

Van der Sar
-Netherlands
Terry, Dawson, Gerrard-England
Cahill-Australia
Henry-France
Yakubu-Nigeria
Kenny-Rep. of Ireland

We ask all from the Republica to pray for the safe return of our players and assets. May their national team managers send them back to us in one piece. Or, else. :twisted:


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Post by tom4nash » 29 Aug 2006, 22:25

Blades goalkeeper Paddy Kenny has pulled out of the Republic of Ireland squad with a niggling thigh injury.

A slight thigh problem has ruled United's number one out of the Republic's Euro 2008 qualifier against Germany in Stuttgart on 2nd September.

Neil Warnock
said: "Paddy has had a thigh niggle for a couple of weeks and felt it before the Fulham game on Saturday."


Sheff U injury update


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Post by tom4nash » 01 Sep 2006, 01:46

Director Of Football Nick Hammond has confirmed that he and Leroy Lita travelled to Bristol on Wednesday morning for the player to speak to Avon & Somerset Police with regard to an alleged incident at the weekend.

As this is an ongoing matter neither the club nor the player will make any further comment on the incident at this stage.

Manager Steve Coppell admitted he was disappointed that Lita was out in Bristol after the players had returned home late following Saturday's game at Wigan. He said, "Personally I am very disappointed. I have to ask what he was doing in Bristol. The players had five hours travelling back from Wigan and wouldn't have arrived in Reading until 11pm. He's then driven another hour and a half to get to Bristol. I don't have all the details yet, but it could have an affect on my team selection. I will be speaking with Leroy on Thursday."


Reading squad update


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Post by tom4nash » 09 Sep 2006, 02:43

Based on the extensive research of the La Republica del FISO Press Office, coming out of the International break it appears that La Republica squad is fit and ready to go for the weekend's matches.

We are expecting a big gameweek out of the lads with a full effort by all.

Our fearless leader, Senor Flyman, commented ahead of the weekend: "They bloody well better give a full effort. I'll have their bollocks with a rusty pair of garden shears otherwise."

The players had no comment as they were speechless. A bit peaked, too.


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Post by tom4nash » 10 Sep 2006, 23:47

The La Republica del FISO Press Office would like to present the first of our supporters profiles. This week we welcome Penelope Snodgrass from Bishop's Itchington, Warwickshire, England:

Favorite Player: "Paddy Kenny...I just adore the bald head. He looks just like a muppet!"

Favorite Match Day Pie: "I just love me a good carrot and tofu curry pie! I wish I could eat more of them but they just give me the worst gas, you know."

Favorite Match Song: "David Moyes Shagged Colleen. It's got a lovely tune and it's so romantic."

Favorite Club
: "La Republica del FISO!" And, I'll kick anyone's arse that says otherwise!"

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Post by tom4nash » 11 Sep 2006, 05:01

The La Republica del FISO Press Office is pleased to announce the formation of a working relationship with the Cerezo Osaka Football Club. Cerezo Osaka FC, known as the club with the best hair in Japan, will provide a valuable place for developing future players for La Republica del FISO and will give give our stylists a chance to hone their considerable skills.

The agreement will run for two years and will include financial support to the club. There will be an exchange of staff so that we'll be able to get the most out of exciting new ideas.

We have arranged for Vidal Sassoon to become a new sponsor as part of the scheme. They will exchange hair care products and consulting for "promotional" considerations. They'll also provide instructors for the players required grooming and image classes.

"You play good if you look good"

We now have rights to the following young players for development:
Takahiro KAWAMURA
Noriyuki SAKEMOTO
Ryuichi DOGAKI
Naoki ARIMURA
Kenjiro EZOE
Tetsuya YAMAZAKI
Takuya KOKEGUCHI
Yoichiro KAKITANI
Bruno Ewerton QUADROS


ImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImage

長く共和国は住んでいる

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Post by tom4nash » 11 Sep 2006, 23:10

Due to the extreme media interest in Senor Flyman's comments about the players ahead of this past weekend's matches La Republica del FISO Press Office have issued a brief statement:

"The La Republica del FISO Board are dismayed at the media frenzy over comments made by Senor Flyman before this past weekend's matches. We believe that these comments have been purposefully misconstrued and overblown by members of the media pursuing their own agenda contrary to the best interests of the club.

In an obvious attempt to motivate the players, Senor Flyman made statements about the players and a "rusty pair of garden shears" that have been twisted by the media. We make no apologies for doing what it takes to motivate our staff and players in any way we see fit.

We also believe that comments reported to have come from the players that Senor Flyman is a "numpty" and a "heartless b*stard" are due to the misquoting of the players. Senor Flyman wishes to categorically deny that he is or has ever been a "numpty". The Board are authorizing an internal investigation into the possible leaks from the staff and players of the club to the media. All actions taken from this investigation will be handled in the privacy of the La Republica del FISO family. Supporters can be sure that punishment will be swift and without mercy.

Senor Flyman also wishes to warn hostile members of the media that if they continue to disparage the good name of himself and La Republica del FISO then he will be forced to turn the matter over to the club's solicitor, Senor Redrum. Senor Redrum looks forward to being involved in any attempt to protect the good name of Senor Flyman and the club. As Senor Redrum is so fond of saying, 'You can indeed get blood from a turnip if you squeeze hard enough.'

That is all."



La Republica del FISO Press Office would like to thank Senor Flyman and Senor Redrum for taking time from their busy schedules to assist with this statement.


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Post by tom4nash » 16 Sep 2006, 01:58

The La Republica del FISO Press Office would like to present the second of our supporters profiles. This week we welcome Dick Tingle from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, Anglesey, Wales:

Favorite Player: "John Terry...Oh, I fancy him, for he's a fine fellow and handsome!"

Favorite Match Day Pie: "Baked bean and black pudding pie...I love me a pie you can bloody well taste for a week"

Favorite Match Song: "Posh Spice Takes It Up The Arse...it brings back such lovely memories. A sweet lass, she is."

Favorite Club: "La Republica del FISO!" And, you'll have to kick my arse to get me to say otherwise!"

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Post by tom4nash » 18 Sep 2006, 04:52

Want To Become Part Of The Republica Team?

Image
"Winning isn’t everything; it’s the only thing"


La Republica del FISO "Football In The Community" Are Looking For A New Youth Trainee Coach.

Do you believe in corporal punishment?
Do you like breaking young impressionable children to your will and remaking them in your own image?
Do you have a police record clean of any embarrassing domestic violence or sexual assault charges?
Does "Winning At All Costs" sum up your philosophy of life?
Are you on the dole and willing to accept a job with low pay and minimal benefits?


If so, we are looking to employ a male, female, or transsexual for our new Youth Trainee Scheme.

This involves working towards some of the following qualifications:
*A passing knowledge of football and it's rules
*An IQ over 60
*A tolerance of children and their parents
*A drive to be hyper-competitive
*The willingness to be discrete

You will be employed on a 2 year training contract, get 3 days paid holiday per year, and a "all you can drink" coupon at The Rounded Keeper pub before every youth match.

If you are interested, please send a CV and covering letter to:
Mr Smedley
Senior Community Officer
La Republica del FISO "Football In The Community"
winningatallcosts@larepublicadelfiso.com

(Closing Date for applications is Friday 6th October 2006)

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Post by tom4nash » 20 Sep 2006, 00:09

The La Republica del FISO Board has been made aware of allegations made by the BBC program, Panorama, that two fringe agents, Senor Dixie Dean and Senor Hardbody, were involved in offering "bungs" or illegal payments to members of the management of the club in consideration of transferring players to La Republica del FISO.

The club strongly denies that either Senor Dixie Dean and Senor Hardbody have ever had any close contact with either the board or the management of La Republica del FISO. The club further denies even knowing Senor Dixie Dean and Senor Hardbody nor would La Republica del FISO ever associate with the type of unethical, money grubbing, bottom feeding lumpenproletariat we know these two to be.

The club also denies that anyone involved with the club has ever engaged in any illegal or unethical behavior in regard to acquiring players for our squad. If any payments by these two agents, or any other agents, have been made to the board and management of the club we can assure the BBC or any interested party that these would be legitimate to the business of the club.

Any payments that have been made to the club, including it's members, staff, or management, whether they be made in cash or considerations in the form of holiday trips, restaurant dinners, fine wine, automobiles, or the club yacht, will neither be returned or apologized for. Any suggestion otherwise will lead to the club instructing it's solicitor, Senor Redrum, to litigate against those who would smear the good name of La Republica del FISO and it's board, members and management. We would not be inclined to show any mercy whatsoever.

That is all.


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FS Record: FISO FPL Knockout Cup Winner 08; 5th Overall Sky Sports Euro 12

Post by Flyman » 21 Sep 2006, 22:35

The champagne flowed on Wednesday night as La Republica del FISO sailed through the first round of the FISO League Cup, beating The Lip's 'Robbie's Raiders' by eleven points - despite La Republica forgetting to pack a goalkeeper for the away leg!

Round Two will see our boys facing count's 'counts loser boys'.
'clb' are currently 168,766th and on 227, that's 126,333 places below our beloved La Republica but only 27 points behind.

Thankfully, once again, our opposition is not one of our own ranks, but for how long will this continue .....?


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Flyman
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Post by Flyman » 01 Oct 2006, 21:10

Last week's appalling display proved too great a hurdle for La Republica to overcome as our slender second leg victory over Count Loser Boys (sic) was too slight to tip the balance in our favour.

Regretably our first cup run is at an end leaving us to focus our energies on our league position and wicket keeping.

Congratulations to the count!

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FS Record: FISO FPL Knockout Cup Winner 08; 5th Overall Sky Sports Euro 12

Post by Flyman » 05 Nov 2006, 12:44

Fellow Republicans:
This week sees me leaving home for a two week jolly down in England.

Can I ask a Civil Servant (or two) to step to the fore and offer to carry La Republica del FISO forward for one or both of the next two weeks, after which I shall be happy and able to resume my duties, should the Board desire, upon my return.

As it is most convenient to keep the debates and polls together on the same thread, I ask that a Civ step forward today or tomorrow and create 'The Gameweek 12 Transfer Debate' thread, with the others following when you see fit. I generally bring the debate to a vote on Wednesday night or midday Thursday, but whoever takes the job must act as they see fit.

Many thanks.

Flyman.

Viva La Republica!

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