So I'm on the laptop in the kitchen. I hear an almighty crack and assume its the kids upstairs. It wasn't. The tiles on my kitchen floor have burst up out of the floor They've been down for years (Ive been here 3) and now I can slip my finger under the 'boast' section.



New floor time?

what?

Indian graveyard?

It's Madchester's slug, it's come to visit.

I've had a shelf fall down tonight. Is it a global thing?

Does anyone else know what a 'boast' section is?

stomping the shit out of the eff didnt help.

Probably something to do with Yoda and his missus

You're all hilarious. I'm going to have to replace some 60-70 tiles, after lifting the old ones.

There's a block of flats just behind me that's due to get blown up in about three hours, so if you're quick you can maybe pick up some replacement tiles for nowt

Uncle Slarty

Never lifted tiles before, have you slarty~?

How did you guess?

I take it this means you wait until after the explosion?

Mad can recommend some oak flooring i think.

So, by way of update I finally got round to ringing the house insurance. I told them the tiles had burst out of the floor & would they replace them. They said they'd have someone take a look. So next I get a letter from a local firm of loss adjusters entitled "Burst Pipe". what? SO I call them back and set them straight about it being tiles up off the floor. The next letter is entitled "Escape of Water" . So out the loss adjuster comes to look at it. He taps around and says - all of your tiles are boast (i.e. not connected to the floor) - the solid wood flooring in the dining room is warped and I'll have to replace skirting & redecorate But first I need to get a plumber to determine the source of the leak.

That was in September. Plumber One keeps telling me he's coming out but never does. So I go for plumber 2. He does come out, looks at it and says he'll be back the following Saturday to fix it. He never does - and refuses to answer the phone to me from there on. So I ring plumber 3. He tells me that there is no point him coming out to dig up my kitchen looking for a leak - that its better to ring "Leak master" to identify where the leak is and then he'll come and fix it. So I ring "Leak master" (or plumber 4) who eventuially gets out to me after about 3 weeks (to be fair he prioritises people with no heating first etc). He tests the pressure & prods about to discover that the leak is - NON EXISTANT. So I have contacted and await hearing from the loss adjusters again.

How much did "Leak master" charge for 30mins work to tell me there was no leak?

At least £80 I would have thought. Called out an emergency plummer a few years ago, took him about 45 mins, and a part which cost about £8, the cost £139. . To be fair it was late evening.

I figured about £60 call out and £20 for his time too. It actually cost 220 bastarding sheets. I'd better get it back from the house insurance.

that is ridiculous. Did they ask if it was an insurance job first ?

Not specifically, though I might have mentioned it. And the thing is, how long and at what cost would it have taken a plumber to dig up looking for a leak that wasn't there