The Apprentice - 2012

Richt · **Posted:** 29 Jun 2011, 22:51

STOP PRESS.

YOU READ IT HERE FIRST.

YOUR'S TRUELY IS APPLYING TO GO ON IT!

(Haven't got a cat in hells chance of getting through though as I went to apply for this years but at the time of applying they had already received 20,000 applications so werent accepting others. I am just not outrageous or entertaining enough, but what the hell I will send an application in anyway!)

blahblah · **Posted:** 29 Jun 2011, 23:07

Mmmm maybe a cynical old get could get on? :lol:

Richt · **Posted:** 29 Jun 2011, 23:08

If anyone is willling to help out with some witty answers to the following questions I would be much obliged.

1) Why should you be Lord Sugar's business partner?

2) What makes you different from everyone else applying?
(My suggested answer at the moment being - Because I don't talk in cliches and have plenty of commons sense). I suppose I could put something about not knowing what everyone else is like who has applied.

3) What is the most interesting thing about you?

4) What is the most impressive thing you have ever done in business.
"At the moment the only answer I can think of is that I sold a huge market research campaign to a Double Glazing company during a cold call, speaking direct to the sales and marketing director and securing a deal on the first call - certain amount of irony selling cold to a company that has a dodgy reputation for it's cold callling tactics"

All of my answers are probably no where near strong enough to get me onto the programme. But hey ho.

Rich

AKNel1 · **Posted:** 29 Jun 2011, 23:53

Richt wrote:

If anyone is willling to help out with some witty answers to the following questions I would be much obliged.

1) Why should you be Lord Sugar's business partner?

The question you should be asking is why should Lord Sugar be my business partner

2) What makes you different from everyone else applying?
(My suggested answer at the moment being - Because I don't talk in cliches and have plenty of commons sense). I suppose I could put something about not knowing what everyone else is like who has applied.

There is nothing different about me, all the attributes are right here - with others they will have one or two but I have them all

3) What is the most interesting thing about you?

I play Fantasy Football, like Lord Sugar & Karen Brady one day I plan to play Fantasy Football with a real Football Club.

4) What is the most impressive thing you have ever done in business.
"At the moment the only answer I can think of is that I sold a huge market research campaign to a Double Glazing company during a cold call, speaking direct to the sales and marketing director and securing a deal on the first call - certain amount of irony selling cold to a company that has a dodgy reputation for it's cold callling tactics"

I once beat my whole family at Monopoly, even Uncle Jim who had a 10 year streak of Boxing Day successes

All of my answers are probably no where near strong enough to get me onto the programme. But hey ho.

Rich

The Job's as good as yours - I'll take a cut when you win (20%) :wink:

bloggie · **Posted:** 29 Jun 2011, 23:55

You may need to use those eye catching statements like don't tell me the sky's the limit...Lowest common denominator but it may be the method required.
Something more like Aknel's replies infact.Your cv will no doubt will be on another form.

bloggie · **Posted:** 30 Jun 2011, 00:01

1.I am the cup of coffee the business world needs and I take my coffee with sugar.
2.They don't know I've won yet.

Richt · **Posted:** 30 Jun 2011, 00:10

I am loving some of these suggestions, and I will most probably be using the one from Bloggie about taking my coffee with sugar.

Needless to say, should I win then I will obviously be very kind to all of you that help ;-)

.....

Witty and funny answers required :lol:

blahblah · **Posted:** 30 Jun 2011, 09:46

If anyone is willling to help out with some witty answers to the following questions I would be much obliged.

1) Why should you be Lord Sugar's business partner?
He looks so grumpy all the time, and needs cheering up.

2) What makes you different from everyone else applying?
Because I am whacky and up for anything; and I mean anything it would be sex and booze all the way with me!

3) What is the most interesting thing about you?
D'oh! I'm whacky!

4) What is the most impressive thing you have ever done in business.
Once in a supermarket, there was this big tower of Cereal, and you know like how you've always wanted to pull a few out from the bottom that made the tower fall down! I done it 8-)

I have also sent taxi's to friends houses when they didn't want one, a taxi I mean. :lol:

Probably the funniest was putting clingfilm over the toilets in the woman's toilets at a local Club, though :lol:

murf · **Posted:** 30 Jun 2011, 09:53

1) Why should you be Lord Sugar's business partner?
He is a twit and I could help bankrupt him

2) What makes you different from everyone else applying?
Because I don't want to win, apart from the bit in number 1 above

3) What is the most interesting thing about you?
Wouldn't you like to know dear!

4) What is the most impressive thing you have ever done in business.
2 towers of cereal boxes, started off by 1 tower of baked beans in a domino stylee

Richt · **Posted:** 01 Jul 2011, 23:08

Quote:

Thank you for applying
If your application is successful, you will be called to an interview via email in the two weeks following July 8th 2011 in either London, Manchester or Birmingham.

We wish you every luck and success.

The Apprentice Team

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Click here to return to The Apprentice 2011 website
.

shogun · **Posted:** 01 Jul 2011, 23:17

1) Why should you be Lord Sugar's business partner?
I don't support spurs

2) What makes you different from everyone else applying?
I support arsenal

3) What is the most interesting thing about you?
I support arsenal

4) What is the most impressive thing you have ever done in business.
bought an arsenal shirt

Richt · **Posted:** 01 Jul 2011, 23:22

shogun wrote:

1) Why should you be Lord Sugar's business partner?
I don't support spurs

2) What makes you different from everyone else applying?
I support arsenal

3) What is the most interesting thing about you?
I support arsenal

4) What is the most impressive thing you have ever done in business.
bought an arsenal shirt

Strangely enough I didn't go with any of those :lol:

AKNel1 · **Posted:** 01 Jul 2011, 23:30

Come on then Rich, what did you go for ?

Tell me the Coffee one and the Fantasy Football one made it to the final cut :lol:

Richt · **Posted:** 01 Jul 2011, 23:36

the final cut was: -

1) It had to be the coffee wit sugar one!
2) They don't know I have won it yet.
3) I ALWAYS succeed at everything I attempt
4) I have successfully sold to a double glazing company whilst making a cold call (oh the irony). (which is true btw).

CanaryYellow · **Posted:** 02 Jul 2011, 07:41

#3 slightly contracdicted by your FS record. Good luck all the same, you never know unless you try.

Billy Whiz · **Joined:** Thu Oct 13 2005 **Posts:** 5978

2) What makes you different from everyone else applying?
I always walk around with a biscuit on my head

Richt · **Posted:** 06 Jul 2011, 11:50

Quote:

Dear ************

This email is to confirm that we received your application and that we would like to invite you to take part in our selection process on ************** Your interview time is ******.

Please arrive on time (but no more than 15 minutes early) or we may not be able to see you.

Place: *************** Birmingham, *******
Please click on the link below to see a map of the location:-

Stage 1 complete!

Tacalabala · **Joined:** Sun Sep 07 2008 **Posts:** 5381

This would truly rank as the funniest shit ever on FISO if Richt actually got on the Apprentice....

Surprised · **Posted:** 06 Jul 2011, 11:56

Excellent!

Richt · **Posted:** 06 Jul 2011, 12:03

Not a chance of me getting through. I am not outrageous enough!

Would have to sign a confidentiality agreement though.......

Billy Whiz · **Joined:** Thu Oct 13 2005 **Posts:** 5978

It's crunch-time for RichT :wink:

Herc6 · **Posted:** 08 Jul 2011, 17:35

This is rather hilarious. C'mon Rich you can do it :lol:

Richt · **Posted:** 08 Jul 2011, 19:27

Last year there were 20,000 applicants.

Only 16 get chosen

I have a 1 in 1250 chance!

"got to be in it to win it" springs to mind.....

Surprised · **Posted:** 08 Jul 2011, 19:30

If you do get to the TV stage we will need to have a thread which you can't see as you might not like some of the comments if you fail a task!!

I'm sure this years contenders would not like what we've said about them.

bluenosey · **Posted:** 09 Jul 2011, 18:37

Good luck Rich 8-)

Would be pretty amazing if this happens.

Richt · **Posted:** 15 Jul 2011, 23:11

My god I am so much better than the majority of the muppets they have on this series. I am currently watching that "how to win the apprentice" hosted by Dara Obrien.

Alas I am nowhere near controversial, outrageous or eccentric enough.

I would wipe the floor with many of the contestants. But I am guessing the producers are not wanting that sort of person.

Bullshit bingo Tidmarsh will be on show on the day. Alas I can't say I have my own business, or have turned over £200 gazillion in 3 months or whatever.

Richt · **Posted:** 20 Jul 2011, 19:08

bigger!
What a wasted 210 mile drive that was :cry:

blahblah · **Posted:** 20 Jul 2011, 19:10

They didn't like your cliches?

WilBert · **Posted:** 20 Jul 2011, 19:13

You've been to the interview process today?

(Congrats on 30k posts blah)

Richt · **Posted:** 20 Jul 2011, 19:14

Didn't even get a chance to deliver them! Any of them,

(I am not sure what I am allowed to say, and what I am not allowed to say due to the confidentiality document I have signed, but as you can probably imagine it wasn't a business interview, I was up in front of senior members of the Talk Back Thames production team).

The Apprentice - 2012

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