The original thread:

http://domain779724.sites.fasthosts.com ... p?id=14079

and a copy of Shrews' post:

'1- 2 posts - Newbies - like cute little babies. But like all babies they can grow up to be monsters.

3-10 posts - Cheaters - May have only have come on the site to rape and pillage. All others will be very wary of them, especially if they post a 'rate my team' thread

11 - 50 posts - Kevin and Perry's - They're still a little unsure about everything and can get stroppy because they think nobody loves them. They discover the delights of Websmileys.com and every post they make will contain a sooooooooo controversial smiley from it. After getting bored with Smileys they may also get fed up of FISO and may not come back.

51-100 posts - Wideboys - A little bit loud and a little bit lairy. Starting to get really cocky, to the annoyance of others. Start coming up with any old thread, just to keep their name shining on "latest topics". Will also probably think about editing their profile and will maybe add a much flashier icon to it. Will probably e.mail Number One (Chris), just to let him know how lucky he is to have someone like them partcipating on his Forum.

101 - 300 - Treebeards - They are well and truly planted and ain't going nowhere. May well have had a warning or two from Number One, just to keep them in their place and steady them up a bit.

301 - 500 - Red Braces - Will want to get to 500 so badly, that they will start giving one word replys. They won't dream of touching a Websmiley as it takes up too much of their time and will start sucking up to Madchester, Sted and Groomyd because they have achieved so much in FISO life. They may even increase their post rate to addictive levels, and so they become......................

501 - 1000 - FISOheads. All they can see is Madchesters post total. They start dreaming about it and mentioning it to their wives, who ignore them until the kids start complaining. It all ends in tears when somebody tells them that The MOM boss used to be AJC1964 and they may as well give up their post target ambitions gracefully. They accept defeat and become much more serious and so become ...........

1000 - 5000 - Grumpy Old Men (GOM) - nAAAAAAAAAAHHHH, get out of it !!!! Rate my team ? Disgusting, shouldn't be allowed. Who the hell do these Newbies think they are coming on here with their new fangled ideas upsetting us old folk. Chris, we demand you deactivate them now.

5001-9999 - Dumbledores - Sit at their computer terminals with long grey beards and bushy eyebrows contemplating the future of FISO and such things. No time to shave and look in the mirror. They wash only when the Life of Grime officers knock on the door and wear pointy hats with stars and moons on them. Their only company will be a black cat named either Chris,Mad, Groomy or Alan, this is because the missus has left long ago. Still, they are happier and more content now. They spend their FISO days at the Kings Palace, discussing knitting patterns with Number One and still dream of winning Sun Dream Team.

The illuminati stages

The nine stages are complete. There is no going back. The next stages are not part of the nine and do not need to be, because it is written in FISO stone that these members are the Illuminati and shall be treated with complete respect by all FISO members. Any blasphemy, such as disagreements with the Illuminati ( probably by newbies ) are punishable by stoning......... well, ok......severe b*llockings by all FISO members ( they won't know whats hit them )

10,000 - 19999 - The FISO Knights - So impressed are fellow FISO members that the Dumbledores have shown their worth in the Kings Palace that each Dumbledore is honoured for their 'unflinching devotion and complete and utter sadness'. This entitles them to put 'Sir' in front of their FISOname, if they so wish. However, Number One needs to keep a close eye on them, as they may succumb, to the temptations of the Dark Side.............

Ah, I remember when I was a Kevin and Perry The Good old days. And got my big break as a Wideboy with the Threadenders and Billy No Mates leagues, which of course let to the demise of Vinton Spence (or was it Charles Ufarley) ? Ahh, the good old days

Ring true anyone ? '

Posts: 143
o_O A treebeard. How the hell did I manage that?

Posts 345. So I have to suck up to Groomyd & Sted. Time for the 9 lives 2nd Edition...

You sure do have a purty mouth boy 8)

Have set some ranks on the phpBB as follows:

Rank Title Minimum Posts
Newbie 1
Kevin and Perry 10
Wideboy 50
Treebeard 100
Red Braces 300
FISOhead 500
Grumpy Old Man 1000
Dumbledore 5000
FISO Knight 10000


Happy to put a ranking in for 3 to 9 posts if an alternative name than 'cheater' can be suggested.

Will see if it's welcomed or not.

In the future hope to also look at 'Special Rankings' based on known Fantasy Sports Game record.

I don't know if it's possible on PHP but it would be good if we could have more detailed member profiles again like we had on the old board, where people could list their own FF achievements/track record for example. I always found that interesting and think it's a shame we don't have it available any more.

Call them, Cheetahs. That way it doesn't look insulting but of course we all know what it really means

Im a red brace, which means i will start sucking up to Sted, Groomy and mad

But I hate Arsenal, Liverpool and definately vauxhalls

Yoose ma bee-yach boy, yoose ma bee-yach... now run along and make me a brew.

its white with 2 sugars isnt it mad would you like some cake ith that, maybe a choccy eclair i can go to the shop for them if you want

OK will go with Cheetah. They're your terms after all.

Black with twelve sugars

Sorry no need to get grumpy (anyone would think youre a GOM).

Black with 12, on its way

I'll look at this when phpBB3.0 is released later this year. The next version will have a whole host of new features one of which may be an enhanced profile.

like this new thing chris but i wanna move up from treebeards lol better get posting

Funny thing is that I was on the pipsuite forum earlier today reminiscing and came accross the following thread:-

Top 100 FISO posters

I particularly liked this quote from guess who?



The shock of it! Multiply by FOUR now.

I remember sheephead saying (on pipsuite) that he was going to tone down his posting

He did actually, didnt he? I remember that too...

A few weeks ago I was averaging 40 a day (8%) now its nearer 37 and 7.5.

I'm suprised you remember who I am sometimes.

well i'm just a newbie. long way to go to get aany respect i guess. Bit worried that top poster is a sheep though.

sheep make me nervous.

apart from that, forum looks great. my telegraph team not doing great but hoping to pick up some tips and improve.

Tell me about it.

"One day they'll respect me" I keep saying.......

Oh, no! We've all got horrible smileys. Enough is enough

Not for long though (day or two). See:

http://fantasyfootballuk.co.uk/viewtopic.php?t=2997

It's just that it's kinda balancing on my ear, grumble, grumble...

Damn. Need to post 173 posts before a day or two to have the Sunglasses smiley by my name.

At first glance I thought it was an earing you were sporting, then I realised we all have them.

Why not give us all signatures and be done with it

What happens when a lady member hits 1000 posts? She's not going to be a Grumpy Old Man surely?

PS No! Not signatures!! They're the equivalent of forum spam

Don't like the smilies - gerremoff! Or we'll.... errr... swear (damn that profanity filter!)

Got to agree that the smilies are a step too far over the line. Please remove them Chris.