Dearest members of the esteemed 5-a-side team known as The SPD's (who currently occupy number 1 position in the original 5-a-side contest).
As your captain i would like to thank all of you for your hard work and diligence for the season to date...and because of this i would like to extend an offer of new contracts for you all tripling your existing deals ....these contracts will take you up til end of May 2008, but i will need your signatures before the transfer deadline at midnight on December 31st this is to ensure the continued success of our team. I thank you for your urgency in this matter and please see the form below..

The Red Ranger (capt) ....signed

CA Vellus Arsefield....signed

1086....signed

Busk When It's Xmas....signed

The Balaclavas....signed


p.s. please be reminded that you will not be set any homework to complete and that you are free to p*ss it up whenever you feel the need to get rat-arsed
please note if i have not received signatures by deadline day i may have to delve into the tansfer market

of course if any of you feel the need to go to a much lesser team then you also have that option open to you

He's only offering new deals to you all cos I knocked him back when he tried to tap me up.

Won't say who he wanted to ship out.

NOt only will I happily sign the new improved contract - I will promise to end this recent run of average weekly scores ....

Shouldn't make promises ye cannae keep.

I got sounded out for a move to one of the struggling teams, Warthogs, Whippets, or is it Wombles. Can't quite remember what they are called, so I'll sign up with the SPDs again

I see you as the SAF of the 5AS's comp. You'll have us all psyched out by March ....

March? Am I going to slow down or something?

of course that is the trouble when you are "the Force" in this game...everybody wants in but alas.........we are a settled side (unlike some Evil Eye members who sound like they have all but resigned

I'll happily sign up for the second half of the season I feel that more consistent scores are already happening for me, and with no injury or suspension worries, and a full playing squad, the busy Xmas schedule should not be a problem for BWIX

just 1 to go and then the SPD's can have a stress free xmas and new year

bump

****************STATEMENT *********************

SPD's star M-boy today responded favourably to the new deal tabled by the club.

"Playing in this team is such a privilege. Everyone gets on really well, there's a great team spirit. There are no real big egos in the team. Yes, we know we're good, but no-one's bigger than the team. I want to stay"

However, the galactic hero would not be drawn on when a deal would be signed.

"Obviously the deal looks good, but that's a matter for the money men” said the SPD's top scorer who is believed to be being tracked by a number of top clubs.

SPD's Captain andybarrell has responded to the positive statement by M-Boy (top scorer by 2 pts) by issuing the following statement

" as you have said M-Boy "Playing in this team is such a privilege. Everyone gets on really well, there's a great team spirit. There are no real big egos in the team. Yes, we know we're good, but no-one's bigger than the team. I want to stay" i feel i must state for the record and for the peace in the squad that this deal is the best one that i can possibly offer and would urge you to sign before the deadline of 23:59 on 31/12/07 to ensure that we are at full strength for the remainder of the season"

I would like to remind the other "top clubs" that are tracking M-boy that you can only replace a player with one that has a lower or equal score. As M-boy is currently leading the entire 5AS field, you're going to find it difficult to get him in

edit: just seen the new transfer window rules. Hmmm

but why would you want to consider moving to an inferior team its clear the SPD's are lightyears ahead of the opposition

************STATEMENT************************

M-boy would like to announce that he has signed the new, much improved, contract. He is particularly delighted with the clause in the deal which states that you will not be set any homework to complete and that you are free to p*ss it up whenever you feel the need to get rat-arsed and will utilize this clause to the full when, if ever, he recovers from flu

M-boy would like to thank his team-mates for their amazing efforts so far this season and particularly red ranger andybarrell for his impressive leadership. M-boy is utterly convinced that the SPD's will be challenging for honours at the end of the season.

Up the SPDs!

*********Announcement**********

The SPD's are unchanged for the season

Woo Hoo

Drinks on me lads

one of these for me please then matey