As usual, do well in the cup competition & cr*p in the league.

Too much planning is going into getting into the final just so we can get to stay in a decent hotel the night before. Perhaps a slight change on emphasis should be brought into our team talks.

Week 27 Fixtures

Arsenal v Brighton

Second place Arsenal host second bottom Brighton. Arsenal change their whole team except for captain Dan, Brighton hand the armband back to Ironfist hoping for a change of luck...prediction 2-1

Aston Villa v Ipswich

This could be a vital game for both teams. Ipswich try to put a stop to their run of defeats to show their start wasn't a fluke. They welcome back WHATEVER as captain. Villa bring in TheTon as they hope to kick-start their season...prediction 2-0

Chelsea v Rangers

Hard to believe Rangers were the pre-season favourites, sitting as they do, on the bottom of the pile. Chelsea have picked up the pace this season and will be hard to beat with 5 long bones back between the posts...prediction 3-1

Everton v Portsmouth

A great game in store here, just the one defeat between these teams and the winners could be top. Both teams are unchanged... prediction 2-2

Hull v Liverpool

Hull have been playing well but leaking goals. Liverpool have been playing badly and ring the changes yet again. Mintman back alongside gchappie in the midfield but this will be tough...prediction 2-1

Leeds v Crystal Palace

Palace change their captain, Carlos the Finger gets the honour on this trip north. Neither team is scoring well, GM and greebynog back for Leeds as they attempt to pull away from the relegation area...prediction 1-1

Man Utd v Stoke

13th plays 12th. Stoke drop the injured Karrde, still struggling after the assault by dirty Leeds, United are surprisingly unchanged...prediction 2-1

Newcastle Utd v Tottenham

Spurs bring back RememberTheTitans after their hiccup last week, jeffersdn dropped. Newcastle have the sun-tanned URkiddingMe and the overweight Jaybrent Allsters back...prediction 1-2

Southampton v Nottingham Forestl

Southampton are scoring well, their captain JD007 looking particularly sharp. Forest will need to be on top form...prediction 2-0

West Ham Utd v Derby

The party went on late into the night, but Derby will need to be fresh and ready for this tricky trip to the East End of London. The hammers are hard to beat, and with new captain Hammered in control things won't be getting easier...prediction 2-1

League Cup Round Three draw:

Good draw for the holders, Everton.

I'm carrying a 'knock', which basically translates as I'm having a p-poor February

it seems Newcastle will win if Valencia has a stormer as he's the differential in all four teams. great minds think alike huh?

Week 27 Results

Arsenal 4 - 2 Brighton

As expected, Arsenal were able to change their team and still win at a canter. This win has put them on top of the league and dumped Brighton at the bottom. Again it was captain DanCaek leading the way, but the team were strong from front to back...Motm DanCaek

Aston Villa 2 - 2 Ipswich

Ipswich came to Villa Park hoping to get one over the defending champions, but their captain WHATEVER wasn't in the mood and the best they could hope for was a draw. An own-goal from TheTon gave the visitors the lead but Stick and gazwood scored twice in the second half before Jim Royal slammed home a late equalizer...Motm Jim Royal

Chelsea 3 - 3 Rangers

A terrific game, with play flowing from end to end. barry was yet again, a shadow of his former self, but in captain Maureenho, Rangers have a man for occasions like this. His late free-kick goal grabbing a point when it looked as if Chelsea had done enough...Motm Maureenho

Everton 3 - 2 Portsmouth

Portsmouth are knocked from the top and are pushed down to 7th place! Everton up to 4th after this great win. Scottoffee and Newb0rn combined late on to score the winner after both teams looked like settling for the draw...Motm Scottoffee

Hull 4 - 2 Liverpool

Hull have found their shooting boots again. Liverpool need to fix the holes blasted in it by Abumies and co. The Hull captain is in a league of his own, mesmerising the hapless Grob time and again. His hat-trick put them 3 up and a fourth was added by Discogod, his first of the season. In all the mayhem it almost went unnoticed that Krispy was the outstanding player on the pitch. His two goals and Motm performance not enough of this occasion.

Leeds 3 - 2 Crystal Palace

This was a better game than we'd expected. Leeds played to their strengths, hitting and hoping, and scored at will. Palace weren't expecting a tough game and they looked surprised to be down by two goals at the break. New captain Carlos pulled theFinger out to get back on terms but a greebynog header wrapped up the points for the home side...Motm greebynog

Man Utd 3 - 1 Stoke

United and Stoke swap places in the table. This game hinged on an amazing performance from Takeshi Kovacs. He seldom makes the bench these days so how he got in the team is a mystery, but there he was scoring a spectacular own goal from 25 yards. He then hacked down Bert. in the area giving away the penalty. His mud-throwing at the official earning him a red card...Motm SgB

Newcastle Utd 2 - 2 Tottenham

Newcastle's winter break in Valencia nearly gained them 3 points here. The training field tricks worked a treat, that was until Jaybrent decided to take an early bath with bagpuss. The 3 v 3 was close but Newcastle couldn't quite do enough...Motm URKiddingMe

Southampton 2 - 1 Nottingham Forestl

Forest slump to 17th as Southampton climb into the top 4. Not vintage Saints, but good enough to put a woeful Forest side to the sword. DrBunker and JD007 scoring the goals, despite freckles taking the Motm award.

West Ham Utd 4 - 1 Derby

Derby have come to earth with a bump. They were ripped apart by West Ham, even Mercer scoring to make his point. Derby were poor and not ready for this at all. Their -9 goal difference is telling. The Hammers are joint top, London looking the strength in depth city at present...Motm Mercer

League Cup Round 3 Results

Home side win all the ties. No non-league teams left. Everton, the holders through to the Quarters...

Deja vu.

Gameweek 28 Fixtures:

Brighton & Hove Albion v West Ham

Bottom plays top in this David v Goliath match on the South Coast. Brighton seem to have packed up for their holidays early, whereas the Hammers are flying. Keeping the same team that thrashed Derby, they'll be trying to push on this week...prediction 1-2

Crystal Palace v Newcastle

Palace were turned over at Leeds last week and will want to get back on track against a poor Newcastle side who seem happier earning one point than three...prdiction 2-1

Derby v Aston Villa

This isn't getting any easier for our new boys. After last weeks lesson by West Ham, the Champions come calling. Villa have yet to fire this season, and replace the mis-firing theTon with Spinynorman...prediction 1-1

Ipswich Town v Arsenal

What a great game in prospect, table-topping Gunners visit the new power, a slightly fading new power mind you. Arsenal bring in Dixie Dean while Ipswich ring the changes, replacing the disappointing WHATEVER with flyingkillercob as captain...prediction 1-2

Liverpool v Chelsea

I can only see this going one way. Liverpool are not performing. Chelsea decide to keep the same team that were so impressive against Rangers and will hope to shake those above them...prediction 0-1

Nottingham Forest v Man Utdl

Forest were terrible last week and this game will test them. United looked very good in overpowering Stoke, and now bring back Bob Newhart for Bert...prediction 0-2

Portsmouth v Southampton

This is the big game for these two. Yet again they are both having a good season, Portsmouth were knocked off top spot last week and Southampton find themselves one point ahead. Portsmouth are narrow favourites but I fancy a draw...prediction 1-1

Rangers v Hull City

Rangers showed hugely improved form last week, but they'll need to be on top form again as Hull come visiting. Hull destroyed Liverpool, their captain Abumies is looking like the player of the season-elect. Both teams unchanged... prediction 2-2

Stoke v Everton

Stoke need to concentrate on the league, their League Cup run is becoming a distraction. Everton are also flying in the cup, but in the league they are up to 3rd and will hope for another win here. Young Bunners replaces djnuttie for Everton. Stoke ditch Takeshi Kovacs, for good hopefully...prediction 0-2

Tottenham v Leeds

Both teams come into this in rude health. bagpuss's ban opens the door again for jeffersdn, and for Leeds GM is replaced by andybarrell in defence, while Spencer4 is rested for personal reasons, FlaminGalah come in. Draw on the cards...prediction 1-1

I'm sure it goes without saying but am I right in thinking that Pompey will be docked points soon so will in fact be 10 points behind us?

Tottenham - Leeds snowed off or? Spencer?

I'm too busy sending pictures of myself in my all-white pants from the massage table to all your girlfriends to write a preview yet.

League Cup Quarter-Final Draw:

Home tie for the holders, Everton.

ok NICE! I'll PM you her e-mail address right away!

If Keane insists on dropping me every other week I might have to put in a transfer request.

Nah, we are just 5hite. I will be out this week Not sure how this bit works, though.

Unlikely, as your 48 was the 2nd highest score of the four that played this week. (you have to be in the top 4 scorers to play, though the captain (leading overall) automatically plays.

As I said we are 5hite

So this week's top 4 play next week, with the Captain exemption applied. Is the Captain the overall for the season leader, or this League?

Overall:

Ipswich:
flyingkillercob,yo! (c) 9,365 72*********
Jim Royal - Texas Holdems 310,221 29**
blahblah - Flaming blahs 193,767 48**
WHATEVER - Colossians Three23 12,371 67
Tacalabala - Dynamo Sol 62,201 38**

You didn't have to prove how bad we are

I blame the weird season.......

Gameweek 28 Results:

Brighton 2 - 1 Hove Albion v West Ham

Bit of a shock on the south coast as the hammers are struck down by a stomach bug and couldn't perform to their usual abilities. Hammered had the pasta rather than the shell-fish and it showed in his performance. However, one goal was not enough against Brighton on the day, Ironfist and albionjulie scored the goals and they're off the bottom...Motm Hammered

Crystal Palace 0 - 1 Newcastle

This was the second shock defeat in a row for Palace. Financial difficulties and manager insecurity is weighing heavy on them and Newcastle needed just a little luck to bag the points here. spudder latched onto a pass from allwaysonthebeer and slotted past nevblake...Motm spudder

Derby 1 - 1 Aston Villa

Stalemate. Villa should have won this, but a terrible own goal by Stick got Derby a point. Things are improving for Derby, they may survive...Motm Colbert

Ipswich Town 1 - 1 Arsenal

New captain flyingkillercob smashed in a freekick and played out of his skin but they were second best during most of this game. Arsenal arrived as leaders and for the most part played like leaders, only an aberration from DixieDean let them down. Dixie just didn't look when passing back to the keeper and could only stand and stare as the ball rolled into the empty net...Motm flyingkillercob

Liverpool 0 - 2 Chelsea

Chelsea march on, joint top and unbeaten, this was a very good performance from a team playing at the top of their game. Roga and Matty B scored the goals and 5 long bones played brilliantly in goal as Liverpool's efforts were nullified...Motm Roga

Nottingham Forest 0 - 0 Man Utdl

A bore draw in the Midlands. Neither team managed a shot on goal, quite what the future holds for these two is anyone's guess...Motm erm....hifromsriram (I suppose)

Portsmouth 4 - 1 Southampton

Bragging rights reside with the blue side after this slaughter. In a week of little action and fewer goals Portsmouth put on a bravura performance. Their captain Dronning Maud land scored twice and laid on both frattonender's goals as the home team took a half-time 4-0 lead. Knulpuk got one back, but this was a chastening experience for these players. Portsmouth, top scorers, up to 3rd...Motm Dronning Maud Land

Rangers 2 - 0 Hull City

Rangers are back. Their sleeping giant, barry banged in both goals as Hull wondered where their recent form had gone to. Even star man Abumies seemed to be running through glue. Rangers have their first win...Motm barry

Stoke 0 - 0 Everton

The second goal-less draw of the week and this one was an equal stinker. SUZYKINS was sent off for fighting with Scottoffee, who also saw red. The others sulked and walked around in the rain, though Everton nearly snatched it at the death when moonlightdribbler hit the woodwork after a fine cross from Bunners...Motm moonlightdribbler

Tottenham 0 - 1 Leeds

And just when you thought you'd seen the worst games of the season, along comes Leeds v Spurs. Spurs were flying before this game, but gifted Leeds three points by the indiscretion of one player. jeffersdn. What on earth was he doing? To score an own-goal with a throw-in was taking his season to a new low...Motm RememberTheTitans

sorry all

It would have been so much different if Insua (C) hadn't made an appearance for a solitary point & I'd have got +6 from the bench & Lampard as my emergency sub.

Thank you Rafa.

Wah hah hah you're 5hit

"and i know i am"

I was thinking you'd been a bit harsh singling out your mate Jeffers again............ and then I scrolled down!

We never stood a chance - great performance by P*mpey. Anyone else we would have probably picked up at least a point.

League Cup Quarter-Final Results:

This time all away victories. The holders knocked out by Arsenal. 4 of the league's top 5 go into the 2-leg semi-Finals.