Hope this is in the right place.In a few months i will be the best man at my brothers wedding so looking for anyone who has done this,had it done for them or just witnessed a great memorable speech.Ive never been to a wedding so not sure what the norm is but ive seen loads on tele and 'the speech' is always there so im looking for any pointers from anyone whos been down this road.Also what NOT to say i suppose would help.I dont want to steal his thunder on his big day but if im going to be called 'the best man' then i need to make an effort.Makes it a bit more difficult that i dont know any of her family.

Hand out a load of Yale keys to as many "suitable" men\women that you can find. Then at the start of your speech, say that the Bride is to me a one woman man, and could everyone with the front doors-keys please surrender them. The men with the keys, and women, walk up and drop the keys into the bowl, and you have a memorable speech

is that tried and tested? i could try it but i'd be afraid more people would come forward than i gave keys to

Even better

It is a win-win - you would be instantly famous, locally; your family wouldn't talk to you again; and the real winner: you would never be asked to be a Best-Man again

I rare win-win-win

Rule number 1, don't be half cut when you do it. It can be very embarassing and cringe worthy for all, and it will not go down well with the groom!!

Are you the younger or older brother?

I was best man for my older brother 2 years ago and started off the speech by introducing myself along the lines of "for those of you who don't know me, i'm Andy's younger brother. So you could say I first met the groom 28 years ago, when I can only presume that my parents were so disappointed with their first attempt, that they decided to try again". Pretty obvious joke, but it got a decent laugh from all age groups and helped settle the nerves nice and early.

The trick is to meet all age groups and connections to the groom throughout your speech, so throw in an embarrassing childhood story involving the both of you for the elder audience, as well as one or 2 for the current crop of friends.

They always say, never embarass the bride, it's her day, and it won't be appreciated. Something I didn't adhere to but I managed to get away with it as I think the joke incorporated both the bride and the groom and it seemed to go down well.

If you get stuck for ideas, i'd be more than happy to email you my speech to give you something to work off if need be.

On a serious note: keep it short, no-one is there to try to listen to you mumbling your way through pages of typed A4.............

Very true. Also learn it off by heart, will work wonders with the delivery on the day as you'll be speaking to the audience and not the table. I also attended the venue prior to the day so I knew beforehand how loudly I would have to speak in order for everybody to hear. Failing to prepare is preparing to fail

Cheers Chris, was just about to begin the search for those. That brings back memories

Your dilemma has been experienced by numerous Fisoers over the years,who've posted the same question.

There have been some terrific examples of original,hilarious,inoffensive best man speeches,but I'm not sure where to suggest you look.

Probably under "Stuff",but try using the search engine under "Best Man Speech". You're likely to get some original ideas that way but if all else fails,try Google.

n.b Gazwood's offer may be useful as a guide you can adapt. Preparation is everything if you want a stress free day and if you've practiced your speech so you don't need to read it all from notes,you can focus on other matters - like where you put the ring

It's when you find yourself best man to the same person 3 times in succession that it gets tricky,but if you're lucky that won't be necessary in your brother's case

True but, remembering it will just put pressure on you, just a few gags, and the list of people to thank will be fine. (And say her mother looks great, or similar - and lie if you have to.)

Joke for Speech: I knew they were meant for each other as she kept calling his name as she rode me

Been running over a few jokes to fit in(fancy myself as a stand up) but not sure if he would like me using his wedding as a test run for my jokes.I'm also a little shy unless ive had a few so i hope i get in and out before the drink takes control of my voicebox.He is the youngest of 3 boys and its no secret that after 2 boys my folks really wanted a girl but were stuck with him.On another note the 1st time he introduced me to her my words were 'Shes horrible'. I was a bit tipsy at the time which i blamed for my actions,but then i thought ....If a said she was horrible when i had my cider visor on what must she really be like?

So she is a pseudo lesbian?

To the brides father,

"he wanted a quiet wedding, but he couldn't find a silencer for his shotgun"


To the grrom

"she's a lovely girl, and I'm sure you'll make an honest woman out of her"

As far as the key's joke goes. The best time I ever saw it done....it was aimed at the Groom:

"so can any woman who've got front door key's please drop them off in this box"


Cue loads of women dropping keys off.

Followed, after a pause, by a couple of blokes mincing to the stage.

You tube is your friend.

Say something about your speech making the bride feel uncomfortable for a few minutes......which your brother does most nights or summit