I'm with murf and the dude there, the key to happiness is definitely appreciating what you've got rather than always aspiring to something new/bigger/better etc. Not always easy - we live in an aspirational society where businesses set the agenda, and businesses don't want you to be happy, because happy people don't buy as much stuff.

Anyway, off the soapbox: of course, if what you have isn't making you happy, think about ways in which you could improve your life - but small, practicable ways. Like getting involved in the local community - volunteering? Or you're an intelligent and politically aware bloke - get involved with the local Labour group?

Probably best to point out that I meant it as a "life maxim" for all of us and not as any form of 'cure' for depression - which would be as helpful as screaming "shake yourself out of it"

If the whole world took time to smell the flowers and the coffee, the profits of the drugs companies would plummet.

A relative of mine is a completely different person after councelling to find the root of their problems. They have been (and still are) on anti depressants for years. Now they have got a place at University as a mature student, and have taken up voluntary work with the RSPCA. The change in their personality in just a year is remarkable. I used to find that some anti depressants made my relative like a zombie, they used to look right through you. My relative says the first step was wanting to get better in the first place, councelling in this case, was that first step. But you have to help yourself before anyone else can help you. (sorry if that sounds corny)

This is the sort of Reward System that I was talking about. I just need to think of rewards

Mmmm, I may have to disagree with that. I accept your point at the suicidal level, but I am past that and need to stop underachieving. I just need to find a drive to achieve etc......


Funnily enough, I had thought of something similar, but thought the sex would be better with the Tories

The appreciation point is very relevant, but when you go off coffee and roses the shite hits the proverbial fan.

Many thanks for the comments, and suggestions, and I apologise for the shortness of the replies, as they probably deserved a bit more. However, I have actually been busy today, into town - well around it to the nearest point etc, and Sainsbury's.

I have developed a baking obsession, and made an awesome Wholemeal Loaf the other day and I am off to make some more. The kids are here this weekend, so I won't be about much, but the darkest days are behind me, I hope; I just have to reinvent myself, again. (I am sure that I have had depression before, and all were longish periods from which I came out different to when I went in, but I think the Shrink might keep the next one further away etc.........)

At least things are starting to look a bit brighter for you now and the worst is behind you.
Depression is a hard thing to understand for those that don't suffer from it and it's surprising how many have come on here and declare they suffer or have suffered or know someone who does. To admit to having it is a brave move as I think it is still seen by many as something that is not a real illness.

Bit of a Thatcher fetish, eh?

Bit of a Thatcher fetish, eh? [/quote]

I wasn't thinking of necrophilia, tbh; but they had more interesting scandals than Labour, who just seem to bonk\shag.....

As someone who's lucky enough never to have suffered from depression, reading through this thread, and the honesty of the replies, has been a humbling experience. I can't offer any advice from personal experience, but I do have a couple of suggestions. They may or may not be of any use, but it's what I would do.

First, the unopened envelopes. Gather them all up in a bag and just before the dustman arrives, throw them in the dustbin and then watch them being taken away. Wave them goodbye. Even better, make a bonfire in the garden and burn them all, then bury the ashes. This may seem irresponsible, but you're not going to open the envelopes anyway so what's the difference? Then, when the next envelope arrives tomorrow, force yourself to open it. And if it needs any action taken, force yourself to take that action, that day. To do that, you're probably going to need a phone - you say you're disconnected, but can you buy yourself a cheap pay-as-you-go mobile? After that, open every envelope as and when they arrive and deal with them straight away.

Second, at the end of each day, before you go to bed, write down a list of the good things that have happened that day. It may just be that the sun shone, or that someone made you laugh on fiso, or you saw a pretty girl walk past or you got on the bus without feeling panicky. As you go through your day, make a mental note of these things so that when you compile your list you won't forget them. As for the crap things that happen, flush them down the toilet. Literally flush the toilet last thing and imagine them all swishing away. Maybe you should do this before you settle down to your list, so that you first clear away all the shit and then concentrate on the good stuff. In time, you may even find yourself looking forward to this ritual.

I think you will beat this, because as others have said the first step is to acknowledge the problem, and the second is the determination to tackle it. You seem to have both. Good luck.

Both excellent pieces of advice IMO. I was going to suggest the destroying of the letters but didn’t want to be too forward. From a mentally cathartic point of view it's an excellent plan but from an economic, practical and workload perspective it also makes perfect sense.

I once worked with a team that was so far behind on letters from customers the only solution I found was to scrap everything (stick them in post bags in the basement for 2 years admittedly) and only deal with letters that came in on a daily basis. The theory being – if it’s important enough people will write/phone/email progress chasing. Result was that they only needed to root through the bags once; they found ways around it after that.

CBT helped me a lot with my health problems and IMO everyone will pick up something that will help them. The two things that still ring true for me years later that may apply to you or may not….

1. If a job’s worth doing it’s worth doing badly. (at least it gets done and your badly might be someone else’s good/well)
2. How do you eat an elephant – a piece at a time.

Continued luck in your journey

Great stuff. Sounds like a week with progress to me! Enjoy the weekend

Isn't destroying letters illegal?

Not that I know of. If it is, you have strong mitigating circumstances and justification IMO

better than destroying the envelopes is to get a friend to open them for you, either in your presence or not. They can then destroy all the rubbish or duplicates but bring to your attention any ones that really do need dealing with or any positive letters that will be good for you to see.

Only for postmen I think.

Wish I had advice or helpful words.

I am sure they are the Queens Mail, until opened or delivered to the correct address\person; when they become the actual persons.....

Surely they are now your personal property to do with what you will

(I'm assuming these actually are your letters and you aren't just a lazy postie who got the sack......)

Funnily enough...................nope.

However, I was an Xmas postie, while a stude; another one got fed up with it, and dumped a sackful (under some sort of bridge, I think) and the shit hit the fan with knobs on. He was going to get prosecuted, and everything.

I did 3 christmasses and one summer as a postie. Top job back in those days.....

I agree - the volume of paper will likely shrink substantially as a result - all duplicates can be recorded by date prior to being destroyed.What remains can then be prioritised.

I also agree it would probably be beneficial if a trusted relative or friend could assist in this task,which could otherwise be potentially destructively depressing if attempted alone.

Such person should be familiar with your situation before being asked if they'd mind helping you.

If you can't think of anyone suitable,maybe you could ask the Samaritans if they could assist in any way - or visit your local CAB, be honest about your situation - if they can't help directly,they may be able to suggest someone who can.

Once this has been done,you may need further assistance from them in contacting the senders of some of these letters,if they contain demands you are unable to meet, who could explain that they've stepped in to help as you've been too ill for a long time, and remain unwell, albeit now starting on the long road to recovery.

Some of the organisations from whom you may be expecting to have received threats may ease off when they see that you're not simply ignoring them and adopting a "catch me if you can" attitude,but are intent on doing your best to meet your obligations to the best of your ability.

In any subsequent legal action that might be taken against you,this would be taken into account,whereas the opposite might apply if you just burnt or buried the unopened mail,appearing to adopt a "couldn't care less" attitude.

Once you've tackled this challenge and know where you stand,what you can and can't do, the enormous relief you are likely to feel will help you to recover your health and strength and get your life back as you,not others, will be in control of it.

Can anyone explain why in my above post,every time I typed "and" it appears as "add", "they" as "that","that" as "this".
I've tried editing them, but my draft appears correct,yet the submitted post isn't ?

As exactly the same thing has happened when I typed my above question,it makes a complete nonsense of what I've just asked !

I'll try using caps :

when I type AND,it appears as ADD
" " " THEY it appears as THAT
" " " THAT it appears as THIS

Thanks Ave a banana - even my edited question using caps made no sense either. Just hope my main post can be understood.

It is triggered when we get so anxious that we seize conscious control over a task that should be executed automatically.

By automatically I assume they mean by the subconcious mind.....

Quite an interesting article, to help explain panic attacks to those fortune enough not to have experienced them.